[Writing] Improve your writing, get it revised by others

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We had this thread before, checking other people's writing.

So shall I go first?

Here's the text.

Despite the intensive and short period of the course, I was able to make friends with other students, especially those फ्रॉम Lambung mangkurat university I’ve experienced through this course is simply exemplary. Overall, it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.


thats what i got
this is just an example.
people could post their essays and whatever they need that needs corrections.

Ok... new excerpts for everyone to practice on. This paragraph was taken from an essay concerning American literatures and fiction during the period of the westward expansion. A paper i wrote several years ago when i was still an undergrad. I dont need it to be corrected per se as they're already been graded, but i just thought it might make a good practice.

Quote:

Dime novels will often leave its reader under the impression the West are a very simple place, it may be dangerous but simple nonetheless. There are usually two clear sides, good and bad, and it is clear which character is on which side. A brave, kind, unselfish, self-sacrificing character who cannot be defeated by his enemy and possess a saint-like quality is an even money bet to turn out to be the hero in almost any dime westerns. The early and more idealistic version of western heroes was perhaps a reflection of the Western landscape in its early days, naïve, idealistic, and simple. But over time these western heroes evolve and change. They evolve from the ideal image of a hero into characters such as Clint Eastwood’s Bill Munny from Unforgiven (1992) and the nameless detective of Dashiel Hammet’s Red Harvest. The evolution of fictional Western Heroes from an idealistic portrayal to a flawed anti-hero signifies the abandonment of romantic and ideal image of the western frontier and reflects its changing state of mind into a modern and mature civilization.

With the disappearance of American Indian as a viable threat, the western movement of settlers and homesteaders began. Perception of early settlements and life in the western frontier in its early days was perhaps a little convoluted due to the lack of true and detailed account. Nevertheless, many writers believe this period of western history as a significant part of American identity and they were captivated with the idea of romanticizing the West and ended up portraying it in an ideal and simple manner. Often times, that means that they were not particularly concerned with reality and excluding complexity in their depiction of life in the western frontier. Frederick Elkin’s journal “The Psychological Appeal of the Hollywood Western” deals with the creation of trends in western fiction. Concerning the characteristic of a western fiction, particularly the ones that was heavy its romanticism of the west, he commented, “There are two basic characteristic to all westerns—action and simplicity” (74). Simplicity means that there’s always a clear distinction between the good and the bad, and no in-between or gray areas. There could be no complexity in a western because it would compromise its romantic and ideal image. The society was influenced to accept the view the romantic and ideal version of the west as a reality. The perception of the west was this ideal and simple realm, and it was only fitting that the western heroes of this era, as a reflection of that perception, were as ideal and romantic as the realm that they represented.